The Art of Love: Exploring Self-Love, Unconditional Love and Mindful Relationships

B from B-YOUnique

Feb 146 min read

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

How much I LOVE this beautiful quote by Thich Nhat Hanh. I take it as a reminder, whenever I dive into my heart and my absolute favorite topic, which is (who would have guessed it)...: Love. 🥰

Love is one of the most profound experiences we can have. Yet, so often it is misunderstood, all covered up with expectations and conditions. Thich Nhat Hanh’s simple yet powerful reminder urges us to redefine love. Love shouldn‘t be experienced as attachment or control, but as freedom, lightness, and peace. 🕊️

Check for yourself how you live your relationships. Which of the following two statements do you truly feel, when thinking about your relationships?

I need YOU to be happy. This would mean, we wish for the other person what's best for them, which might not necessariliy is what we consider being the best for us.

I need YOU to make ME happy. Now, please be honest. How often do do we act out of the need to fulfill our own wishes, desires and needs?

“True love is not a transaction. It is a space that holds the growth of another person, without tying your self-worth to their behavior.” ~ Yung Pueblo

This reflection shouldn't evoke judgement within you, but inspire a crucial question: What does it mean to love unconditionally - in our relationships, in the way we treat ourselves, and in how we show up for the world?

Let’s explore the transformative power of love in all its forms:

• Self-love as the foundation of authentic relationships

• Unconditional love and how to practice it without losing yourself

• The art of mindful relationships: How to express our needs while remaining unattached and open

Let’s begin this journey with the most important relationship of all: the one we have with ourselves.

Self-Love: The Ground from Which All Love Grows

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~ Buddha

In the rush of daily life, we often forget to turn inward and offer ourselves the same love we so often freely and abundantly give to others. Self-love is not indulgence, it’s a crucial foundation for all healthy relationships. When we cultivate self-love, we strengthen the bond with ourselves, which let's us feel stronger and happier. We develop more resilience, compassion, and the ability to love others more deeply.

Self-love means accepting ourselves as we are - this includes our strengths and imperfections alike. It means offering kindness to the parts of ourselves we often neglect or criticize.

Practical steps to cultivate self-love:

Learn more about yourself
Do you truly know yourself? Do you hear your own self talk? How do you feel when being on your own (without any distractions)?

Be kind to yourself Learn to cultivate self-compassion. We are often way to harsh with ourselves - in a way we would never treat someone else. Developing more gentle and supporting traits towards ourselves is so healing.

Mindful Affirmations Start your day with affirmations like, “Everything I think, say, or do, comes from a place of love. Always.” (This is mine - I‘m happy to share it with YOU ☺️)

Create a Self-Love Ritual Think of at least 1 thing each day, that you can do, which makes you smile or just feel good. No matter how small this may be - but make sure, you never ever skip it.

Check in with yourself Create mindful moments throughout the day and ask yourself: “How am I doing right now? What do I need right now?”

Unconditional Love: The Highest Art of Loving

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Unconditional love is the highest expression of love - a love that is not tied to behavior, achievement, or expectations. But don't get me wrong - this does not mean, that you should just forget about your desires, and just tolerate everything or losing yourself in the process. Rather, it means loving with openness and trust, while honoring your own boundaries and needs.

How to practice unconditional love:

Love without attachment Allow others to grow in their own way, without trying to control or shape their path. This would actually just serve our own wishes, instead of theirs.
Express your needs with clarity, but do not demand Unconditional love doesn’t mean we forgo our wishes, it actually means that we can express them clearly, but without being demanding and blameful or judgmental.

Recognize your worth Loving unconditionally starts with knowing that your worth isn’t tied to anyone else’s validation.

Mindful Relationships: Giving and Receiving Love Freely

“Love is not what you say. Love is what you do.” ~ Yung Pueblo

In relationships - romantic or otherwise - mindful communication and the ability to give and receive love without conditions are essential. Mindfulness teaches us to stay present in love, noticing our patterns and habits, and creating a space where love can grow authentically.

Mindful love practices:

Regular check-ins Ask your partner or loved ones, “How can I love you better?” and be open to their answer. This is such a beautiful question to ask and be asked. It makes me feel like I‘m going so much deeper - within me, within this relationship and the other persons heart.🤍

Find balance of giving and receiving Visualize love as a flowing current - one that you give lightly & freely and one that you receive with gratitude, without clinging or the need to change it.

Use presence as an anchor Return to the breath when emotions arise. Ask yourself, “Am I present in this moment? Am I coming from a place of fear or love?”

Love is a Daily Practice

“Love is the bridge between you and everything.” ~ Rumi

To truly live from a place of love, we must nurture it like a garden. We need to plant seeds, and water them daily. We need to bring the best conditions for growth and a positive energy.

Let me share some simple ideas:

Plant the seeds of love Imagine planting two seeds in your heart - one for self-love and one for the love you share with others. Watch it bloom, while you water it each and every day.
Take a deep breath Close your eyes and visualize a flower blooming in your heart. This flower represents the love you hold for yourself and the love you offer to the world. Whenever you need to tap in to this energy - take a deep breath and let your flower grow even bigger. With every inhale it grows - with every exhale it spreads its love.

Share your love openly Never restrain your love from being shared. Always express it to the people around you, nature, your pet, yourself, ..fill in the blank. We often think „well they should know how I feel“ or maybe „what if they don‘t love me back“? Let go of these inhibiting limits and just share it freely - without expecting any outcome in return. Trust me, this feels soo good and liberating 🤍

Affirmations Build your own affirmations, which you can repeat daily, to yourself and to your loved ones. Examples could be: “I nurture the love within me. I give and receive love freely, without conditions. I am love. Love is freedom. I accept people as they are, and love them for who they are. Vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength. I'm respectful and compassionate to myself and others."

Meditate Regular meditation will help you with all the above. As it is not always easy to do this on your own, I've created this meditation for YOU, to help you with it: https://youtu.be/oSO-UhjE9L0?feature=shared
Listen to it daily, to nourish your heart with more love and the right intentions.

Take the Pressure away YOUnique Soul 😌

Finally, unconditional love is a lifelong practice and maybe we will never master it fully. It’s not about perfection, but much more about the intention of trying to love with open hearts and trying to share the best, purest and most selfless love with the world. Isn’t this thought alone warming up your heart?

Just remember that love is always here - waiting for us to notice it, nurture it, and share it. Dare to LOVE YOUnique Soul.

From a place of love. Always.

B. 🤍